P.S. I’m an Emotional Eater

Dear Self...I think I'm an emotional eater

Ever wanted to see inside the mind of an emotional eater? Follow EE (Emotional Eater) as she writes in her private journal about the eating habits that have led her deep into negativity, bad self-image, and poor weight control. See how she overcomes emotional eating, and manages to not only lose weight, but also improve her whole quality of life.

Read more :

• June 1
• June 8
• June 22
• July 6
• July 20
• August 3
• August 17

June 1

Dear Self,

I am sick and tired of this constant battle with weight. I don't know why I eat so much. Most of the time, I am really not hungry, but that doesn't stop me from pigging out. I think I need to figure this out or I'll never lose weight.

I have been writing in my daily journal and am really seeing things in a new light. I seem to eat more junk food when I’ve had a really bad day – a bad day being any day I feel angry and can’t get the anger out, or feel lonely or stressed or just plain bored. I think I can start figuring out which emotions are likely to trigger overeating, but what really bothers me is that there are times when I really don't know what I’m feeling. I guess I'll have to pay closer attention.

I know I feel worse about myself after eating, but while I am eating I don't feel anything. I think that's one of the reasons I overeat; I don't want to feel. I am wondering if food is like a drug for me? I want to stop, but I can't. I tell myself I will, but then I don't.

I'm feeling kind of hopeless, but I'm still writing in my journal, so maybe I'll figure it out. I’m wondering if perhaps I’m an emotional eater?

June 8

Dear Self,

I have some bad news and some good news. I wasn't able to control myself as much as I wanted to this week, but I learned some things about myself. Even though I say I want to stop eating so much – food feels good. This is a big conflict for me.

This is the bad news: I wanted to lose some weight quickly, so I just about starved myself for two days. On the third day I stuffed myself. I felt really bad about myself afterward.

Here’s the good news: I learned something. When I don't eat enough during the day, my night-time overeating is much worse. I need to eat regular meals and I do feel better when I eat healthy food. I have also learned to stop being so rigid about what I can and cannot eat. If I feel like eating a biscuit once in awhile, I will have one, so I don't feel deprived. If I feel like I am missing out on everything I enjoy, it's a free pass for me to eat everything in sight.

Another discovery: If I don't express my feelings, I stuff myself at night. This week, I am going to find a support group to learn how to express myself and to talk to people who understand what I am going through. I know I have to deal with the part of me that still says: Food feels good.

I'll stay in touch.

P.S. I am an Emotional Eater. It’s pretty obvious to me now.  

June 22

Dear Self,

More bad news and some good news.

Let's get the bad stuff out of the way first. When I have this empty feeling inside, I still reach for food. Do I really think food is going to take the place of whatever is missing in my life? Last week was very bad. Everyone at work seemed so happy and I felt left out. That night, I attacked the ice cream in my freezer. I didn't think about it. I just did it.

This is the good news: You know how I keep saying food feels good? Well, after polishing off the whole tub of ice cream, I realized that the good feeling doesn't last long. I thought I should see what the health and weight consequences are when I eat that much ice cream so right after I ate I added up all the calories and fat I consumed during my ice cream episode. I wrote it in my diary, but didn't look at it until the next day when I was more open to rational thinking. I couldn't believe it! I consumed 950 calories and 75 grams of fat – enough fat for two days and enough saturated fat for five days.

It was pretty obvious to me after that episode – I will never lose weight if I keep this up. And at this rate, I think I might also be jeopardizing my health. Most important, food is not solving any of my problems. It just makes everything worse.

So, this is what I decided to do. First, I got the junk food out of the house – out of sight out of mind. If the junk is not in the house, I can't eat it. If I feel like eating ice cream, I can always eat a reasonable serving size when I'm out of the house. I also figured it would be a good idea to get out of the house at night, so I took a watercolour painting class. I felt so good about myself after the class that I really didn't feel like eating. This is the really good news: I discovered that I don't feel like overeating when I feel good about myself. I feel good about myself when I am involved in something I enjoy.

EE