How to Handle Sabotage

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Why you shouldn't listen

Don't listen to the cheesecake... or anyone who says you have to eat it

If sabotage has been making you think things like "Maybe they’re right. Why should they have to change what they do? I’m the one with the problem," or "It’s not fair to put my needs before theirs," or "I don’t want them to be upset with me," then you need to challenge your thoughts.

Think about it - if you choose to eat a carrot stick instead of a chocolate chip biscuit, how does that burden anyone? And perhaps those around you could also do with some healthy changes anyway.

Understandably, you don't want to upset anyone too much. Dealing with sabotage isn't always easy or comfortable, and you may look for reasons to avoid the problem. You may be hesitant to speak up for yourself because of your own uncertainty, or fear that you will displease others. But remember that if you easily concede to discouragement from your goals you won’t reach them.

On another level, each time you say "yes", when you mean "no", you might create a passive anger within yourself. That passive anger boomerangs in the form of guilt and depression. When you are angry, depressed, or feeling guilty, your resolve and ability to maintain new lifestyle changes is significantly compromised.

Turning sabotage into support

Explain to others why their support is important to you

Losing weight and changing your lifestyle is difficult; you need all the support you can get. So when you encounter sabotage, resolve to make friends, not enemies. It’s better not to flare up and battle every time sabotage rears its ugly head. Battles and hostile confrontation create stress, and stress makes it difficult to lose weight, both psychologically and physiologically. Instead of knee-jerk reactions, explain to the saboteur why you need to avoid certain foods and situations right now. You don’t need to shove good eating habits down anyone’s throat, so to speak, but actually sitting down and explaining to a person why you are serious about losing weight can be very effective.

If others are still resistant to your change of lifestyle, then educate them as to why healthy eating and exercise is good for everyone. At all times be assertive, but not aggressive or obnoxious. And if you refuse food, make sure people understand you are not rejecting them personally! You are just rejecting their offer of food.

If, after all your efforts, you still can't get the support you want, be firm in your own resolve. You are not the problem. The problem is the need in others to maintain the status quo or control.